You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals… Let’s just file this one under headlines that sound fake but are actually true, shall we?

Apparently even dolphins need to get their jollies. That fact became a little too evident recently when a beloved creature at a popular tourist beach in northwest France grew too horny for his own good. Or more accurately, for the people swimming around him.

Zafar the dolphin, as the animal is known to locals in Landevennec, Brittany, is a staple wild attraction at the beach there thanks to his friendly disposition and frolicking ways. He’s been known to attract crowds of sailing schoolchildren and swimmers without ever causing an incident, making him a popular mammal.

Until recently that is.

It seems that these days Zafar has a bit of pent up sexual frustration that he’s now taking out on boats and swimmers, rubbing up on them and in some cases using his nose to push people away from the shore. It’s all culminated in the city’s mayor, Roger Lars, issuing a statement essentially banning swimming and diving whenever Zafar comes out to play.

“Swimming and diving are banned on the village shoreline… whenever the presence of the dolphin is confirmed,” he told Ouest-France newspaper. “Approaching within 50 meters of the dolphin is also forbidden. Several bathers were really afraid. He even lifted up a female swimmer last Thursday with his nose.”

Obviously the closures aren’t sitting well with everyone, especially those used to enjoying the beach to escape the summer heat. A petition has sprung up to overturn the Aug. 20 ban since no one has actually been hurt (yet), but some marine specialists are supporting the precautions given that the 10-foot dolphin and his powerful tail could cause “serious damage.”

Considering that dolphins don’t actually have mating seasons, this is one instance where we think it’s appropriate to say that this is one guy who needs to get laid. Pronto.